


MRHeatWave

by JQ (musicmillennia)



Series: Instabroken [3]
Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV), The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Crack, Deus Ex Machina Merlin, Fix-It, Gen, Magic, Rip Officiates a Wedding, Social Media, THIS HARDCORE GOT AWAY FROM ME, Vines, because reasons, because you can learn anything if you put your mind to it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-14
Updated: 2017-02-14
Packaged: 2018-09-22 01:15:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,887
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9575351
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/musicmillennia/pseuds/JQ
Summary: How Mick Rory's Vine account saved the world and then some.[[[[[this does not take place in the same 'verse as the previous two]]]]]





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [prouvairablehulk](https://archiveofourown.org/users/prouvairablehulk/gifts).



> Surpriiiiiise
> 
> I thought, since I'm called "Dragon Mom" i'd play a joke on the kids. Now I could certainly write devastating angst. In fact, I have something in my files that could fit the description. BUT! I've been having a pretty good week, all things considered. So then I thought, hey, things are getting pretty wild in the world right now. Why not just write some crack?
> 
> I never seriously considered a continuation of this series. And instead of getting an Instagram, Mick got a Vine account. What a wildcard, amirite
> 
> Belated birthday gift and Valentine for my royal ward, prouvairablehulk. Finally managed to find some time to finish this for you!!!

_Central City  
2013_

By the time Len steps out of the bar, Mick's long gone. He doesn't know whether to be pissed or relieved.

What the  _fuck_ was that about?

Someone shoves past him into the bar. Len snaps an "excuse you." He heads to his bike, zipping up against the cold, and forces himself not to take out his phone and call Mick like a lovesick boy.

Except the whole ride back to the safe-house, Len can't get Mick's words outta his head. Why would Mick say shit like that? Why the use of past tense? Why the kicked puppy look, the awkward stance?

He gives in after closing the door behind him. But upon unlocking his phone, he sees...a Vine app? With strange red symbols instead of numbers, as if his phone can't tell how many notification it has and just gave up trying to guess.

Len taps it.

_While you were away: MRHeatWave posted $# &@% new Vines! Check them out!_

Who?

There are only four on the list. The first one's simply called  _hey_.

Leonard Snart's jaw drops. Because that's... _that's_...

 

**_hey_**

Mick Rory is walking briskly down what looks like Central City's docks.

"Lotsa people say Vine's dead by 2016," he says, "joke's on them."

The camera blurs to reveal a bona fide sci-fi spaceship.

"I got a time ship!  _Suck it_!"

 

Len blinks. Blinks again.

"He's got a what?"

Unfortunately, the next three are just six seconds of a lighter turning on and flickering. But Len knows Mick's hands as surely as his face. There's no mistaking this.

It'll be 2014 next month. Two years since he and Mick've seen each other barring―whatever that was tonight. Yet Mick says 'by 2016' in the Vine and mentions a  _time ship_.

Len needs to think.

* * *

  _One Year Later_

Len hasn't gotten another mysterious Vine since that night. Mick definitely doesn't know anything about it. He's starting to give Len these looks, like he knows something's up but Len won't let him know what it is.

On January 2nd, Len's phone vibrates.

Two new Vines. Len grabs some headphones from a nearby drawer. He'd prepared for this.

 

**_Mirror Trick_ **

Mick's standing with a tall guy in a Revolutionary War style get-up.

"See, it's a mirror," Mick says.

"Oh!" says the guy, "Fascinating." He gives Mick a little knowing smile. "Another device from your time, Private?"

Mick grins. "Easy, Georgie."

 

Georgie...Revolutionary War... _no_. No way.

"Snart?" Len's Mick calls.

Len briefly contemplates aspirin before looking up.

Mick's peering at him from across the room, paused over cleaning his gun. He definitely knows something's up.

He eyes the earbuds and phone suspiciously. "You finally gonna tell me what's crawled up your ass?"

Len responds by leaving the room. Mick's annoyed mumbling follows him.

He sits on his bed and opens the next one.

 

**_life tip: get a strong magic buddy_ **

Mick's hand is trying to open a salsa jar. When he obviously can't, he huffs and holds it up to somebody next to him.

It's a woman. A beautiful woman. Brown skin and dark wavy hair, longish face and big eyes. Her mouth quirks as she takes the jar.

She touches the strange necklace around her neck. Blue light surrounds her, taking the shape of a gorilla. A second later, she's tearing open the vacuum seal.

"Nice," Mick says.

 

Len's not surprised by the magic after the year he's had. It's the other thing.

 _Buddy_ , huh? Mick's got plenty of buddies, but in whatever future this is, he's in close quarters with this  _buddy_ and still calls her one. He's only ever done that with Len.

That reminds him. Where is Len himself? He imagines he'd be a little hesitant at first, just for show. Mick wouldn't do anything degrading to him, much less film it. This was his sixth Vine. So...?

Len shakes his head. Maybe because of the whole time travel thing, the Vines are just getting to him out of order.

He doesn't think about any other option.

* * *

 The next day brings two more Vines. Mick's out burning something, but Len puts the headphones in anyway.

 

**_fuck that_ **

"What do I think of the 2016 election?" Mick says. "Why the  _fuck_ do you think I'm still on a time ship?!"

The camera cuts to a green vortex-looking thing outside a ship's window.  _Fuck This Shit I'm Out_ starts playing.

 

Len makes a mental note to ice every red thing he owns. Or maybe he'll let Mick burn 'em instead. A little gift never hurt anyone.

Besides, it's February. Platonic shit's a thing, right? Right.

Len plays the second Vine before he can think about that anymore.

 

**_why did we move on_ **

While Len stiffens at this title, it turns out it's just Mick and his  _buddy_ again. Only this time, they're lying next to each other, staring at the ceiling.

"What did bananas taste like in the 40's?" Mick asks.

Without looking, the buddy holds up a yellow Laffy Taffy.

Mick takes it. "Fucking knew it."

 

Len's nostrils flare. But at least there's one thing: this  _buddy_ of his will have to go back to her own time sooner or later.

* * *

  _2016_

Len hasn't forgotten about the Vines at all. Mick still sends him suspicious glances whenever he checks his phone, but other than that he seems to've let it go.

Rip Hunter finds them. Given Len's career as world-class lying thief, he's pretty sure he pulled off a good shocked routine.

It's a clusterfuck, but those Vines and Len's own childish dreams keep them on board. He can admit that to himself. Besides, that _buddy_ hasn't joined up yet, and Mick's there for when she arrives.

Funny thing is, the day after Carter's death, another Vine reaches Len's phone.

"How the fuck did that just go off?" Mick asks.

"No idea," Len says.

"Where are you goin'?"

"Relax, Mick. Won't be long."

Mick growls under his breath. But he doesn't follow Len to the separate quarters just down the hall.

 

**_Mirror Trick 2_ **

"See? Mirror," Mick says to Abraham Lincoln.

"Oh, indeed!" Lincoln says with a polite smile. "Quite extraordinary."

"Ain't it?" Mick says. "So, what kinda play you goin' to see?"

 

Len pinches the bridge of his nose. He shouldn't be surprised; he's known Mick for thirty years, knows what kind of an asshole he is.

Still.  _Abraham Lincoln_. Pick-pocket him, sure. But come on.

Ugh. Allen's hero talk must be gettin' to him. Len shakes his head and goes to the door.

Another Vine pings. And another, and another.

 

**_Knit_ **

There's a rat sniffing the air.

"Hey," Mick says, "put this on."

He's holding a tiny rat-sized sweater.

The camera cuts to the rat cleaning itself. With the knit orange red sweater on.

"That's what I'm talkin' about," Mick says.

 

**_suck it_ **

The camera's zoomed in on a statue's face. A statue that―resembles Mick. A lot.

Mick smirks at the camera. "I'm your forefather, bitch."

The rat peeks out of his jacket collar. It seems to agree.

 

But both of those pale next to the last one Len sees.

He's pretty sure it wouldn't hurt the future too much if he did something about it. After all, they're in the time stream. Time's not gonna notice until they land...

 

 

**_I'd prefer the sandwich_ **

A definition of the word 'hero' is displayed on the screen:  _a person admired or idealized for courage, outstanding achievements, or noble qualities._

Right under that, it says:  _NORTH AMERICAN: another term for a submarine sandwich._

The camera cuts to what looks like the Waverider's library. By the doorjamb peeking in the frame, it seems the person filming is hiding around the corner.

"Snart was the planner though," Ray tells a floppy-haired Abercrombie model, "Mick just sort of...followed him around."

Nate sighs and looks at a big screen of pictures and records. "Sounds like just what we need right now."

 

It doesn't take long for Len to piece everything together.

He goes back to the other Vines just to be sure, but he knows.

Sure enough, Mick looks worn. A little heavier around the cheeks, just enough for Len's experienced eye to catch it. Dark circles, new scars. Strained. Washington made him smile a little more genuinely, but the effect definitely doesn't last.

 _Snart_ was  _the planner_.

"Snart? Snart! Len, hey!"

Len looks up to see Mick's rosier cheeks and living eyes. Distantly, he realizes he's hyperventilating.

Not surprising. It's not every day somebody knows they're going to die. And soon, since they're on the Waverider now. When those two members join, Len'll know.

He's going to die.

"Len!" Mick snaps.

No.

No he is not.

Ray was right about one thing: he  _is_ a planner. He is, and he  _will be_. And he will  _not_ let Mick be treated like a broken wheel.

"Mick," he whispers through pale lips, "I need to tell you something."

Mick's brow furrows. "Len―"

" _Mick_. Listen to me." Len grips his arms. "I want you to remember this. I know. Okay?  _I know_." He holds up his phone's black screen. "And you need to help me."

Mick balks. "What the fuck are you talkin' about?"

"One more thing."

"Did you get drunk while I wasn't lookin'?"

Len kisses him. He hopes he read those bruised eyes right.

Mick gasps through his nose.

Then Len's phone is smacking the floor and Len's back hits the wall.

* * *

**_you bastard_ **

Mick's glaring hard at the camera. "You'd better not've been lying, you sonuvabitch."

He turns the camera to a display of blue.

"Look up the Oculus."

* * *

"Why do you wish to know?" Rip asks.

Len responds by showing him MRHeatWave.

Rip rubs his forehead. "I should have known."

"Rip," Len says, "whatever this is, it's gonna kill me." Rip tenses. "Now I don't know about you, but I'd like to avoid that outcome."

"...you realize that for this information to come to you, you must have Mr. Rory nevertheless assume you dead?"

"Then you're gonna have to let me know when to come back."

Rip looks back at the Oculus display. He sighs. "Then, Mr. Snart, we have work to do."

The phone pings before they can go to Rip's desk.

 

**_best impressions ever_ **

"Amaya!" Mick says.

The buddy looks up from her cereal. "Yeah?"

"Quick, do a dolphin!"

Amaya smiles fondly. She touches her necklace. When the image of a dolphin fades, she opens her mouth―and a perfect dolphin sound comes out.

Mick fist-bumps her. " _Nice_!"

 

Rip puts his head in his hands.

"I'd like to be around when this  _Amaya_ comes up," Len sneers. "Start talkin'."

* * *

**_i hate labels, but_ **

"For some reason you people are watchin' these things," Mick says.

A comment section shows up. It's full of variations of one question:  _so, you and Amaya...? ;)_

"First, I'm―" Mick squints, remembering the term. "De-mi-ro-mantic asexual. Second," he pulls out two rings from under his collar. "I'm a widower. Bye."

 

Timeline's changing already, then. That second ring hadn't been around Mick's neck before.

"Len," Mick groans into the pillow, "get your ass back over here."

Len swallows the lump in his throat and puts his phone away. Plan's underway, he thinks to himself as he settles next to Mick. Plan's underway.

A few hours later, Mick's taking a shower and Len's looking at the second Vine. It brightens his mood just a bit.

 

**_shut up_ **

"But you can't be in a relationship!" Amaya fake-whines, "You're ace!"

In Mufasa's voice, Mick gets in her face and roars, "Is that a challenge?!"

 

Len hides his phone just in time.

"What're you snickerin' at?" Mick asks.

"Nothin'."

Mick glances at the phone, rolls his eyes, and goes to his dresser.

Len smirks. At least he can still enjoy some perks before the time comes. "Now, Mick. We still have fifteen minutes."

Mick smirks back.

* * *

**_The American Way_ **

This Vine consists purely of the Captain America theme song and a bunch of clips of Mick punching Nazis.

 

"What's funny?" Ray asks, because Len made the mistake of watching these Vines in the galley.

Len snatches his phone out of view. "None of your business, Boy Scout."

"Don't feel bad, Haircut," Mick says, sounding put-out himself. "He doesn't let anybody look."

Ray pouts. Len takes his M&M's and heads to the library. Rip's already there.

 

**_Mirror Trick pt. 3 (HOLY SHIT)_ **

An old man with a long beard looks at the camera next to Mick.

"See? Mirror," Mick says.

The man smiles knowingly. His eyes are a little distant, as if he's looking beyond the phone. "Of course, Mick. Of course."

Mick's brow furrows. He looks at the stranger. "I didn't tell you my name."

The old man winks. He promptly disappears in a shimmer of― _something_.

Mick's eyes widen. He looks back at the camera. "You all saw that shit, right?"

 

Great. Magic exists.

Len's head snaps up. 

That's right. _Magic exists_.

"You just got an idea," Rip says.

A slow smile slides onto Len's face.

"Oh no," Rip mutters.

Magic. Why didn't he think of that?

* * *

There are more of those  _heroes_ Vines. Not that Len needs an extra incentive to not die. Rather, it's an incentive to get the fuck off this ship once he cuts the strings of the Oculus.

Objectively, he knows that the team thinks of Mick as a dumb thug. They're hardly the first, and Mick doesn't act like they are. But they've never acted like they do in Mick's uploads.

Probably because―and Len always grimaces at the thought―Cold's not around to stop them.

He never thought Mick needed protecting from bullies. He should've known after his childhood that nobody's really safe from that, even someone like his partner.

He's thinking on it especially now, because all he's got from the latest update of MRHeatWave is a slew of the team's bullshit.

Mick never directly says anything. On the contrary, he says nothing at all. Doesn't have to.

The latest posts:

 

**_#ButThat'sNoneOfMyBusiness_ **

Sara is holding a glass of champagne. Everything on the bridge looks like Christmas threw up on it.

"To family," she says.

The Vine cuts to a clip of Mick hiding behind another corner. Sara's in the library with Amaya, Ray, and Jax.

"Who's gonna talk to Rory?" she asks.

"Not it," everyone says.

The Vine cuts again. Mick is drinking out of a mug with Kermit the Frog drinking tea. Underneath the picture, in black text:  _But That's None of My Business_.

 

**_haha_ **

"Hey," Jax says to the group at large. Mick is some distance away. "We're a team. Everybody matters here. So don't go sacrificin' yourself, Ray."

Cut to peeking around the corner:

Jax says to Stein, "Who else am I gonna trust with this?  _Rory_?"

And back to Mick drinking from his Kermit mug.

 

**_Ha_ **

"We respect one another," Nate says, "we're  _heroes_. And we're a team. That's what we do."

But:

"Where's Mick?" Amaya asks.

Nate shrugs, nose-deep in a history book. "He wouldn't understand this anyway. Hey, look at this―"

(But that's none of Mick's business.)

 

There are more, but you get the gist.

"What's wrong?" Sara asks.

Len rips out his headphones. He feels Mick's eyes on him as he storms from the galley.

Yeah. No. Unless the team gets that stick out their asses, he and Mick are getting the fuck off this ship. Otherwise, Len can and will ice their hands and break 'em off. It might not last long thanks to Gideon, but at least they'll  _feel it_.

Mick falls into step with him. "You and your phone break up or somethin'?"

"Or somethin'," Len snaps.

"...you ever gonna tell me what's on there?"

Len sighs through his nose. "Not yet. Timeline an' all."

Mick blinks. "What?"

Len waves his phone's blank screen. "All I can say is nobody can see it."

He hesitates a second. Then kisses Mick's cheek and leaves him gaping in the hall.

* * *

"You want to do  _what_?" Rip demands.

Len smirks. "You heard me."

Rip briefly rubs his temples. "Mr. Snart. First of all, magic is learned primarily in childhood. Secondly, there simply is no time for you to learn an entire  _teleportation spell_ before we reach our destination."

True. With the revelation of Len's coming death via a Time Master wellspring, it wasn't hard to put two and two together. That is, Savage and Fuckboys.

Weird thing is, Chronos has stopped chasing them.

Didn't stop the whole Omega Protocols, but still. Weird. And unsettling when Len sees a sudden sort of ease in Mick in the Vines afterwards.

Len will be more than happy to kill all of them, is what he's saying.

"Magic is a science," Len says.

Rip rolls his eyes. "For the last time, you cannot base everything about time travel and magic off of  _Doctor Who_!"

"That reminds me. You ever see Eleven's episodes?"

"No, Mr. Snart. Unlike some of us, I like to spend my time productively."

Len smirks. "Just sayin'."

" _Anyway_. We should stick to the original plan. Gideon can build that replica in our limited window. Unless you can demonstrate it, I suggest you forget about using magic."

"And if I  _can_ demonstrate?"

Rip puts his hands up. "Then by all means."

Len tilts his head. "Then tell me, Rip: you ever heard of Camelot?"

" _What_?"

* * *

"Ah," says Merlin with a crinkled smile, "there you are, Mr. Snart."

"You know my name," Len says.

"But of course. I have been seeing your face in the trees and waters. Come in, come in."

"I don't got a lotta time. Captain's leading the team on a wild goose chase, but they're a smart bunch."

Merlin waves a hand and leads the way into his cottage. "I think you will find that this task is easier than you believe. Thanks to your love, what was to be your doom has become your salvation."

Len stiffens at the word. He covers it with a sardonic look. "Really now?"

Merlin smiles again, that same knowing grin from Mick's post. "Why, Mr. Snart. What do you think that wellspring is?" He shakes his head. "Magic comes from Nature. We harness it by manipulating the natural order. That is why it comes with a price. This wellspring is the product of such a process. No doubt it cost many lives. As your death and the consequential death of the great future you would have lead would have been the price of countering this wellspring's magic.

"But another factor of magic is its endurance. You have a resilient heart, Mr. Snart. One to rival the Once and Future King." Merlin's blue eyes sadden for a moment. "He, like you, was a warrior of great caliber. One with honor."

"I'm a thief," Len says.

"But you have honor. And your destiny is great. I can feel it resonating from you with every breath. Through this act you plan to commit, magic has already settled deep within you." Len starts. "This wellspring is a product of Time. When you came―or will come into contact with it, it will merge with your timeline. A reverberation so strong that it was with you the moment you were born."

Merlin chuckles at Len's dumbfounded face. "It is certainly an unorthodox claim to magic, but it is an unbreakable tie. It is why you must go to the wellspring."

Len is literally a character from a novel.

He probably shouldn't be as excited about it as he is.

"So I already got it in me," he says. "How do I tap into it now?"

Merlin puts up his finger. "That, Mr. Snart, is where I come in."

* * *

"So," Rip says later, when the disappointed team has dispersed, "did your venture prove fruitful?"

Len grins.

Blue flame engulfs his hand. "There are no strings on me."

Rip staggers back. "That― _how_ ―"

Len turns the magic into a tiny ball and bounces it between his hands. "Old man said a teleportation spell's not really this kinda magic's forte. I gotta stop time and get the hell outta dodge first."

"But the Vanishing Point is outside of time," Rip says.

Len shakes his head. "How could it be outside of time if the Oculus is tapping into everything? It's definitely not very well connected. I won't be able to hold everything for long."

The ball dissipates. Len braces himself on Rip's desk.

"So here's how this is gonna go."

* * *

Before everything, Len gets one last Vine from Mick.

 

**_Rat_ **

The rat's wearing a blue sweater with silver snowflakes.

Mick's voice is a little rough when he speaks: "Lookin' good."

 

Something tells Len that Mick and Hartley are gonna have a lot to talk about when they get back to their present.

Len looks out at the Vanishing Point, then glances at Mick. Mick nods at him, mistaking the hard determination in his eyes with the team's mission.

They  _will_ get back to their present.

But for now...

"Mick. We never did do that thing Lisa wanted."

For now, they're both shit at this, but Mick's appropriately surprised anyway.

He quickly snaps into a scowl. "Snart. Not the time."

"Time for what?" Sara asks.

"Captain Hunter," Len says, "how do you feel about officiating?"

"I beg your pardon?" Rip yelps.

" _Snart_ ," Mick snaps.

"Come on, Mick. We're about to battle for the future of the universe. Ain't that somethin' to tell the in-laws?"

"The in-law will  _kill us_."

"I'm not hearin' a no."

Mick rolls his eyes. "You won't get one. I'm just sayin'."

The whole team's gaping at them, but Len can't stop grinning.

"We'll let Lisa do a whole ceremony if she wants. I'm sure she'll understand."

Mick narrows his eyes. "What brought this on?"

"Yeah," Jax squeaks, "What brought this on?"

Len shrugs. "Seems like the right time."

Rip glares at him.

Mick huffs. "Fine. Whatever."

It's not a big deal. The team just makes it one. And for the record, whoever thought Sara would make a good flower girl―was right, yes, and where she got the flowers from or how she got the basket is a mystery.

Gideon crafts the ring Len saw in the Vines. He gets one for himself.

Len kisses Mick as long as Mick allows. Despite his plan, he wishes it didn't feel like a last request.

"Ready?" he murmurs.

Mick, still thrown by the kiss, nods. "Let's go."

* * *

Chronos is back.

Len levels his gun at him. "No offense, but I don't got the time for Robocops."

"Chronos, fire!" the Time Master orders.

A distorted voice replies, "Sure thing."

The Time Master dies in one shot.

Chronos removes his helmet. Len snatches off his goggles.

" _Mick_?"

Mick's shaking under the armor. "Yeah, Lenny," he says numbly. "Should probably...get away from me. Don't know if I can fight it for long." His breath quickens. "Did somethin' to my head, Lenny. Put me in a chair..."

His eyes go blank. He points his gun at Len's chest.

Len barely dodges in time. "Forgive me," he says, and swings his gun at Mick's temple.

Mick's taken back to the ship. The only good thing Chronos does is get the Waverider out of the tractor beam.

Len feels a now-familiar heat in his veins. He feels the Oculus fume inside of him―feels Time writhe and morph, pissed at its prison and hungering for its jailers' blood.

Len can't say he objects.

* * *

Len knocks Ray out easy.

Sara leaves him with a kiss.

The Oculus gives him a big wet one too.

The last one's not very pleasant.

* * *

**_Cat Person_ **

Leonard Snart is sleeping on Mick's stomach. He's pale as snow and his veins glow a faint blue.

Mick scratches his head. In his sleep, Len starts a continuous hum.

The camera cuts to Mick with Len still purring in the background. He takes a long sip from a new mug:  _CAT PERSO_ _N_.


	2. Bonus: Vines with Leonard Snart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Len's return, the team has learned that thing called Respect. This is a collection of Vines from MRHeatWave, starting with an imposed vacation in 2017 by his partner.
> 
> There are puns. And lots of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is literally just a list of Vines. No plot whatsoever.
> 
> Btw Rip never got brainwashed lmao

**_Best Friends_ **

In the Waverider's galley, Jax is saying to Len, "Yeah, there was  _mind control_."

"Which, for Mr. Rory, was not an issue," Stein says, "but for us―"

 _"Be-est friends!"_ sings over the shouts of the team as Len jams his cold gun to Stein's forehead.

"We're goin' on vacation," Len hisses.

* * *

  ** _Fuck you_**

Leonard Snart has appropriated Mick's phone. He's holding a batch of bananas.

"Hey Mick."

Mick's back is to the camera. He's making pancakes. "What?"

"Are you _bananas_ for pancakes?"

Mick whirls around, spatula raised like he just _knows_ Len made a pun. "I fucking swear to―are you  _Vining_ right now?!"

 

**_Sinatra n' Soap_ **

Len and Lisa are washing dishes. They don't see the camera.

 _"My mama done tol' me,_ " Len sings, and Lisa continues seamlessly,  _"when I was in knee-pants_... _"_

They're both really good. Mick takes out his lighter and does a slow wave in front of the camera.

 

 

**_Vacation time (don't actually hate SW)_ **

"I dunno," Mick says, "Star Wars isn't that great―"

Cold and gold guns shove at his resigned face.

 

**_I WILL KILL YOU_ **

Len has taken Mick's phone again. Mick's working on a car behind him.

"Hey Mick," he says.

Mick grunts.

"What do you do to―" Len holds up a gear, " _gear_ _up_ for your projects?"

Mick shoves up wielding a wrench. " _I'm gonna fucking―"_

 

**_Family Friendly Alien_ **

A hologram of a pretty blonde in a blue and red superhero costume grins at the camera.

"You're on vacation?" she says. "That's great! You deserved a break."

"Yes he did," Len says.

"Oh! Oh my gosh, hi!"

Len smirks. "I've heard much about you.  _Supergirl_."

"Oh great," Mick mutters behind the camera.

 

**_STFU_ **

Len stands next to Lisa. Between them is Mick's profile on an old couch. He's playing with a Rubix cube, having a good day for once. Not even hurting anybody.

And Len goes and says, "Sis."

Lisa has a gleeful smirk on her face. "Yeah?"

"D'you think Mick ever gets  _heated_ about my puns?"

The Rubix cube slams on the couch.

The Vine cuts to Len running down a hallway with Mick yelling obscenities behind him.

 

**_my face is happy_ **

Mick and Len are walking down the street.

Mick stops. There's a yogurt shop right next to him.

Len rolls his eyes. "Come on, Mick―"

 _"I-I don't give a fuck, bitch"_ starts playing as Mick shoves his hand in Len's face and pushes him away and strides into the shop.

* * *

**_Salt Dial_ **

They're back on the Waverider. Jax and Rip bracket a big dial.

"Now Jefferson, you must be careful with this one," Rip says. "It adjusts the amount of salt in the room."

"I like salt," Jax says.

"No, Jefferson, don't―!"

Jax turns the dial up. Amaya suddenly appears. She looks around, confused.

"Huh," Jax says. He turns it up some more.

Sara pops up. "The hell?" she says.

Jax turns it all the way up.

Len appears, lounging on a large pipe. "Hello," he drawls.

Jax yelps and turns it all the way down.

 

**_Kermit Strikes Back_ **

"I ain't your dad," Mick snaps at Jax.

The Vine cuts to Mick pointing to the hallway and shouting, "What the  _fuck_ were you thinking? Get to the med bay, dumbass!"

Len is now looking into the distance. He raises the Kermit mug to his mouth.

 

**_Rat's Ass_ **

That's literally all it is. Just a clip of Mick's rat's snowflake sweater-covered ass facing the camera...as it's curled on a sleeping Len's chest.

 

**_how_ **

Len is singing under his breath as he cleans his cold gun. Suddenly, Jax joins in with a harmony, whipping the camera to his face across the room.

Cautiously, Len sings a little louder.

Bee Gees never sounded so good.

 

**_you can do literally anything else in time and space_ **

Len's smirking at the camera, sitting in the library. For reasons unknown, Mick is reading a magazine from 2245.

"Mick."

Mick hums.

"Are you having a good  _time_?"

Mick promptly rolls the magazine and stands up.

The Vine ends with him whacking Len on the head.

 

**_Pride_ **

Ray's passed out on a couch in the lounge. Nate's slumped on top of him, drooling all over his shirt. His hair's pulled out of stress and there's an old tome on the floor, just under his limp hand.

Mick and Amaya take a large rainbow flag and tuck them in.

The Vine cuts to a slow-mo of them walking away in black-tinted sunglasses. They fist bump to the tune of  _"I'm so gay. I'm so gay! I'm hella gay!"_

 

 

**_whoops_ **

Len tells Jane Austen, "Yeah, make it out to Lisa Snart."

Austen signs the copy of _Pride and Prejudice._ "Your wife?"

Len's naked horror is only seen for a bare second, because Mick drops his phone laughing.

 

**_Drunk History_ **

"Hey!" Len calls to a group of Nazis having dinner. "How are you? I'm a half-black Jewish man."

He punches the nearest one in the face.

* * *

**_30 years of this bullshit_ **

Len's pressed against Mick's side. Mick's looking at his lighter.

"Mick."

Mick makes an absent-minded noise.

"It's a milestone moment for us. Thirty years knowin' each other."

Mick still gives barely any indication he understands what Len's saying.

"Tell me. Do I still light your fire?"

Mick's head snaps up.

There's a yelp. The camera blurs, and the Vine cuts off.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Somehow this turned into another outlet for my Salt. Whoops.


End file.
